License to Bark

It's not news that Beijing's rules about dog ownership are pretty restrictive. I have written before about the trials we face as the owners of two dogs in a city that restricts each household to no more than one, and where one of our dogs is larger than the maximum size that the city allows in the central districts. When we bought Ivan we intentionally sought out a breed that would be within the legal size limits, so that we could at least register him officially.

The registration of dogs, oddly enough, is only done in the month of May, and since we'll be gone for most of the month we had to get it done this weekend. Luckily I was able to get Ivan's certificate of neutering from the vet this past week, since with this he is entitled to a 50% discount on the initial registration fee, which is normally a punitive RMB 1000 ($145). With my certificate, my passport, and Ivan's immunization record in hand, along with two photos and my apartment lease, I walked Ivan up to the police station to get him registered. The police station has a special office just for the registration of dogs, in a sort of courtyard a few steps away from the main part of the office. You'd think that they'd staff this office with people who are somewhat knowledgeable about man's best friend, or at least not terrified of them, but you'd be wrong. First of all, the two ladies who worked there were absolutely terrified of Ivan (about whom there is absolutely nothing fearsome), shuddering every time he approached either one of them.

Secondly, they had absolutely no idea about dog breeds, and when I told them that he was a 喜乐蒂牧羊犬(Chinese for Shetland Sheepdog), they had to call over a cop to find out if they were legal to register. The cop, who was as ignorant about dogs as the ladies, asked me how old he was. When I told him eight months, he said I could not register Ivan, since while he might be a Sheltie now, when he was older he'd be a Sheepdog, which is too big to register. I explained to him that Shetland Sheepdogs and Sheepdogs are different, and that the one cannot turn into the other. I also explained than an eight-month old dog is pretty close to full size. In response, the cop showed me a photographic chart that listed several different breeds, including Shelties (which was included among the "small size breeds"). But since the image of the Sheltie was the standard Collie-colored type, the cop did not believe that Ivan was really a Sheltie. Here I tried to convince him that the Bi-Blue Merle coloring was a sign that Ivan was a miniature Sheltie, even smaller than normal, but he was not persuaded. Finally, I tried to bargain with him--I suggested that he let me register Ivan for 2009, but that if by next May he was too big to register, he could refuse to register him then. This seemed to appease him and we reached an agreement.

Of course, that was only the first obstacle. Next the ladies tried to get me to pay a full RMB 1000 for the papers, despite my giving them Ivan's neutering certificate. So once again they called the cop over, who agreed that I was indeed entitled to a discount, so I forked over the RMB 500 and thought they'd give me the license right away. But of course, since this is China, that is not the case; instead, I have to wait a month (!) for the license, and of course I have to return to the police station to collect it. How convenient...